As I revisit and refine the DRAFT list of 2026 goals, heading towards final version, I have noticed a familiar old voice creeping in. The voice of doubt…
“What makes you think this time will be different? Why don’t you ever learn? Why didn’t you get this taken care of sooner? How did you let it get this bad? How embarrassing!” And on and on…
It can be a slippery slope. And dangerous to the new goals! How in the world can I get in the mindset to put forth effort on new endeavors if I’m acting as my own worst critic and drowning in judgement about my past patterns and choices?
Thankfully, I happen to know a very good remedy, a way to lift out of this and move forward. Eternal gratitude to Drs. Mary and Ron Hulnick for teaching me this via their University many moons ago.
The first step is accepting *what is*.
- My current weight and fitness level?
- It is what it is.
- The state of my information? The emails unread. The un-organized photos.
- It is what it is.
- The house I live in? Its market value, the mortgage I owe, the repairs that are needed, the improvements I’d like to make, and the piles of clutter I’d like to clear?
- It is what it is.
When I was younger, when I first learned this concept, it was actually much easier. I was only one year out of college. I found it easy and clear to say, “This is how I came, this is how I was raised!” But now, over two decades later, clearly I am the one responsible for the state of things now. This can definitely bring up feelings of guilt and shame.
To be clear, I am very grateful for my life – my body, my relationships, my information, my home-base, all of it. On a conscious level, I know I have always been doing the best I can with what I have and what I know at the time, moment to moment.
But even a quick, fleeting, sub-conscious thought of guilt, shame, or judgement is worth examining and healing! Healing in order to accept what is and move on!
So there it is, step one. Accepting what is. Realizing that anything and everything can be viewed through a neutral lens, as just a circumstance. Neither good nor bad. It doesn’t have a value such as good or bad unless I assign it. It is SO valuable to see things through this lens always, and especially when looking forward and embarking on a new project.
Thank you again, Ron and Mary!